05 Sie 2014, Wto 23:14, PID: 406266
Wrzucam bardzo ciekawe pytanie i odpowiedź. Pochodzi to z "Kursu cudów". Uważam, że ciekawe, bo przedstawia dokłądnie to samo co przechodziłem kiedyś, jak pisałem o cieniu. to własnie to samo o czym gość pisze. Gdybym to przeczytał wtedy to by mi dużo pomogło, bo u mnie jednak nastapiło w jakimś stopniu ponowne cofnięcie tego w nieświadomość, praktycznie to nie czuje tego. Wróg na chwile odszedł, ale pewnie wróci i trzeba będzie stoczyć bój o wolność..
Cytat:Is it normal to discover dark and vicious thoughts in oneself when studying the course?
Q # 913: I've been a student of A Course in Miracles for about 12 years. I know Course students often find that as they ask for the Holy Spirit's help to look at the workings of the ego, things in there lives seem to get worse instead of better. What I am finding quite disturbing in my own process as a student, is the appearance, or perhaps the surfacing, of a great deal of anger. Sometimes in everyday situations, my thoughts become downright vicious and murderous. I would say that I have a pleasant personality, and am overall a likeable, friendly individual. My thought is that perhaps lots of repressed anger is surfacing as I am looking within more and more with the Holy Spirit's help. I know I should ask the Holy Spirit to look at this issue with me too. But I'm almost scared to delve into what else might be lying below the surface of my otherwise soft-spoken, quiet personality. Is this a "normal" sort of development for a long-term Course student?
A: Yes, what you are describing is a very normal experience for Course students. As you know, the Course process is one of asking the Holy Spirit to look with us at the workings of the ego. In so doing, we are bringing to light that which we've always struggled very hard (albeit unconsciously) to keep in darkness. Often, as we become increasingly willing to take the Holy Spirit's hand and bring to awareness that which we'd buried, we see more and more of how hateful and vicious the ego really is.
When the ego senses its game is up (realizing we've found a voice besides its own to listen to), it typically becomes louder and more dramatic. As the Course says, "The ego will attack your motives as soon as they become clearly out of accord with its perception of you. This is when it will shift abruptly from suspiciousness to viciousness, since its uncertainty is increased" (T.9.VII.4:6,7).
As we become more adept at shifting our inner teacher, fear often compels us to make a sharp turn back toward the ego's familiar voice. But the Course reassures us that this tendency has no effect on our ultimate ability to complete the journey we've begun: "As the light comes nearer you will rush to darkness, shrinking from the truth, sometimes retreating to the lesser forms of fear, and sometimes to stark terror. But you will advance, because your goal is the advance from fear to truth" (T.18.III.2:1,2).
Whatever games the ego plays, the important thing is to just continue looking at it while holding the Holy Spirit's hand. Of course, on the level of this world, it's generally preferable (and more helpful to you and those around you) not to act out the ego's insane attack thoughts. But you don't want to pretend they're not there. Doing so doesn't make them go away, it just sends them back into the darkness of the unconscious. And a basic psychological principle is that which is repressed gets projected. So, to truly become less hateful and vicious, we have to admit that we are those things and gradually learn not to take the ego's voice seriously. Again, that means watching the ego without judgment, no matter how intense or embarrassing its internal nastiness becomes.
Remember that the ego -- everyone's ego -- is 100 percent hate. A more socially acceptable personality does not equate to having an ego that is better or more acceptable than another. Jesus tells us "The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. …a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury" (W.pI.21.2:4,5) . At first, that statement can sound grotesque and deeply disturbing. But ultimately, it is quite reassuring. From Jesus' perspective, we are all the same.
Each of us can choose to listen to the 100 percent hateful voice of the ego, or to the 100 percent loving Voice of the Holy Spirit. Each of us, regardless of the personality traits we display in this lifetime, is both a Hitler and a Jesus. At those times when our thoughts or behavior are more Hitler-like, we have merely become afraid, dropped the Holy Spirit's hand, and once again made the error of listening to the wrong voice. This is a mistake calling for correction not punishment. And happily, our ego's cruel and insane ranting has no effect on reality.